Saturday, June 23, 2012

The Perils Of Sincerity

The fact that I was drawn back for a small part of the day to the kind of nasty commentary various bloggers and others who post on the Internet indulge in, of the sort I criticised yesterday, may well represent an unpleasant failing of my personality. But I've found myself trying to concoct at least some justification for looking at this stuff, possibly just to salvage a little self respect, and this is what I've managed: reading such material is a way of learning about the nature of our species.

And what have I learnt, apart from the obvious, that as a species we are generally not very nice?

Well one thing I've noticed is the frequency with which posters ill-disposed towards each other attribute motives to their opponents (not very admirable ones) for the claims they are making, as a way of undercutting such claims. Now ad hominem attacks can be recognised by anyone, but my (I hope) deeper point is that those making the accusations often clearly believe what they are saying and see themselves as performing some kind of public duty in exposing the truth about the opposition. It's their sincerity that's driving them to be nasty. From the particular imbroglio I have been perusing of late I'll mention two such revelations about the opposition (one from each rather grey side of the fracas.)

1) S/he claims to be defending women but is an attention seeker who makes controversial comments to garner popularity with those likely to agree with such comments.

2) S/he claims to be defending women but is unaware of being in thrall to a patriarchal system in a way that invalidates all such 'defences' rendering them entirely spurious.

Now I have a suggestion to make (to myself, really, as much as anyone else) that I think can be helpful in life. In most cases it's a good idea to accept people at face value with regard to the motives they claim to be the basis of their behaviour. This is quite a tricky thing to do, especially when you are pretty sure they are deceiving you or themselves or both, but it can pay dividends in establishing a sense of civility. And once you are on civil terms it's surprising how often you can genuinely make progress in actually dealing with whatever it is that needs to be dealt with.

We're so used to regarding people as essentially ignoble (for very good reasons, alas) we ignore the possibility of eliciting nobility through a kind of cunning. And if you are assuming I am advocating a degree of insincerity in one's personal dealings, well, yes, I rather think I am. More than a degree, I reckon.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love this post. The little sub-community that occupies the residential college I live in is, by design and selection, full of sincerely engaged and very intelligent young people. The most sincere have been at each others' virtual throats in debate online for much of the year over a whole slew of issues.

Brian Connor said...

Very pleased the post spoke to you!

But do bear in mind that we might reasonably expect sincerely engaged and very intelligent young people to behave fairly idiotically most of the time. It comes with the territory (of the land of youth.) When old geezers like myself make complete idiots of themselves saying naff things through social media (I think that's what they call it these days) it's just sad.