Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Celebration & Sadness

Nenek left us for her long home at 3.30 pm 2 Syawal, Sunday. She died peacefully at home, with most of the family in attendance. We conducted the funeral in the late afternoon and she was buried soon after maghrib. That sounds very fast (which is the Muslim way) but it was also tender, gentle, practical and caring, even down to the younger family members shoveling the wet earth back into the grave. It was sad, but it was also a relief in some ways. It hadn't been easy dealing with her deterioration for those in Melaka and there had been some disagreements on how best to care for her, understandably so. It was particularly difficult towards the end when she no longer recognised anyone and being alive seemed to be something in the way of a kind of grief for her. When we arrived last Friday she was little more than a shallowly breathing skeleton.

Dealing with her passing on so soon after Hari Raya seemed appropriate somehow. It didn't feel at all like a shadow on the enjoyment of Eid, simply another aspect of what Eid celebrates - the wonder and gift of what it is to be alive.

Nenek always dealt with me with great good humour and some quirky affection and I suppose that was strange in its way, considering what an oddity I must have seemed to her. I'm not quite sure why she found me so funny but I'm grateful she did. She often made me laugh.

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